The Great Greek Whale

My father many years ago was a legendary fall down drunk. Now I have never seen him drunk but from the stories my uncles have told me he would have been inducted into the Anheuser-Busch hall of fame. My father would drink anything. He use to take sterno and filter it through cheese cloth. Now this is the kind of stuff Nasa used to launch the Apollo.

My old man use to hang out at a bar called Peelies on 9th avenue. All the local tough guys and killers would come to this bar and just about everyone had a gun. My father use to drink with a guy they called Vinnie the Fish. My father and Vinnie walk into Peelies looking to throw a few drinks back. Unfortunitilly the bartender that is working today is Fat Mary. Fat Mary was this 350lb greek woman. She was a piece of mush. She had a bad attitude, would never give you a buy back, and would take anything for free. So my father and Vinnie are having a few and they start complaining to her " Oh you fat fuck how about buying us a round for once". Well of course she told them to stick their thumps up their asses and spin. After a few minutes Vinnie comes up with a idea. He tells Fat Mary that he wants to buy her a shot. Of course she wants in on this cause she's a gluton fuck. Vinnie tells my old man to keep her talking on the side for a few minutes. She had already poured the drinks and while my father was distracting her Vinnie put a cow laxative in her drink. Now you got to understand a cow laxative is meant for a 2000 pound cow with the shits. LOL he put a whole tablet in. No more then twenty minutes goes by and Fat Mary starts to turn green and then pale white. She gets up to run towards the bathroom but starts shitting all over herself. She made it to the bathroom but left a full trail of shit behind. LOL Vinnie and my father go and have a look at her in the bathroom. They said after all was said and done she must have lost 50 pounds.