Monday, December 31, 2007

Click the city to see some fireworks!!!!

Give them kids a whoopin

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Looking for payday loan?


Thought this was funny. Give it a shot.

Happy New Year!!!!

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year. I am just going to hang with my women and celebrate the New Year with some champagne. Wish you all success in 2008.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Disability Benefits

My uncle Roger had gotten AIDS later in life because of the sex he was having with crack head hookers. Jumping off the roof of the old apartment didn't help him much either. Now that he was disabled, he was looking to apply for SSI (supplemental security income). He was turned down almost instantly. My uncle had lost 30% of brain function and had serious problems walking. So my old man helped him with the appeal. The two of them went down to the social security office. The both of them go into the office and my father tries to explain to the social security worker about the problems my uncle has. The SS worker basically tells my father that he doesn't fit the criteria. My father turns to my uncle and tells him to talk to the worker to give him a feel for my uncles problems. My uncle Roger gets up out of his chair and pulls his dick out. Starts to piss on the worker and his desk. The SS worker is screaming with horror. To make a long story a little shorter, my uncle was approved after that visit.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Merry Christmas!!!

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. I had my parents over and two of my drunk uncles. My uncles spent most of the day falling down on their faces in an empty apartment across the hall. Everyone had a blast playing Rock Band. If you haven't had the chance to play yet I would recommend testing it out at Best Buy or some place similar. Unfortunately no one has won the blu-ray dvd contest. LOL frankly no one followed instructions. Ill will be coming up with a new contest very soon. If anyone has any ideas on a give away please leave me a message in my new Shout Box. Hey leave a message just to say hi once in a while. Later all

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Friday, December 21, 2007

Hello Boys!!!!!

My distant cousin Georgie and my father loved to play tricks on local businesses. If you read the post "Father Reverend Joseph" you know what i am talking about. Georgie and my father would take one of the tow trucks from the gas station and drive around the neighborhood. One night they pull into another local gas station. My father would go inside and tell the guys he had a hooker in the passenger seat. The boys would all come out thinking they were in for some action. My father would open the door and my cousin Georgie would be wearing nothing but a robe and a woman's wig. He would open up his robe and yell "Oh boysssss, come and get it I'm all woman".

Thursday, December 20, 2007

New Shout Box

Hi all, just installed a shoutbox. Stop on by and say hi. Hope to hear from you soon. Happy Holidays.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Swan Dive

Another story about my uncle Roger. My uncle was married to this little troll looking women in the later years of his life. She really wasn't liked by anyone because she acted like a tom boy. Kind of women who thought she could go toe to toe in a fist fight with a man. She had a bad attitude and christ she definitely wasn't anything to look at. Kind of looked like the character from the leprechaun movies. Anyway, my uncle really did have feelings for her and found out she was messing around on him. At that time they were living in Rutherford, New Jersey and I she started to be known as the town blow job. My uncle freaked out, drank till he was shit faced, and got on a bus to the city. He went to the old apartment on 45th where his brothers were still living. He decided to take a walk up to the roof. Well about a half hour later a huge crash is heard and everyone runs outside to see what the noise was. My uncle had fallen 5 stories onto the top of a BMW car. Totally destroying the vehicle and doing some serious damage to the left side of his body. Nobody knows exactly what happened up on that roof. Whether he was pushed or jump is still a mystery. My uncle was in the hospital for a total of 6 months. For most of that time the doctors said he would never walk, talk, and function like a normal person again. The first time my uncle was able to speak he told the doctor "I'm gonna get everything back you asshole, just watch". My uncle was able to do all the things he use to do. He might have moved a lot slower and it was a little harder for him to remember things but that was only because he lost 30% of his functioning brain. Tough bastard my uncle was. You'll be missed Roger :)

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The Great Trade

My uncle Roger was some guy. He had done every kind of drug in the book. That also included the use of heroin at one point. He seemed to know everyone and he was pretty well liked. Roger would sell anything though and I mean anything. When he was doing heroin he had sold his mother's wedding band for another blast up the arm. Roger had slept with thousand's of hookers. That is not an exaggeration either.

One day Roger and I were hanging outside the old apartment on 45th and 10th ave. Some guy I never seen before came up to Roger and shook his hand. I had never seen this guy before. That was just like uncle Roger, he knew everyone. This guy had some old bicycle with him and asked Roger if he could watch it for him for an hour. Roger did and after about ten minutes Roger said to me "Stay here, Ill be right back". Roger took the bike and walked a block or two over. He came back over about ten minutes later with a bag in his hand but no bike, I asked "oh what did you do with the bike?". Roger had gone into the Chinese food store and asked them to buy the bike off him for twenty dollars LOL. They wouldn't give him twenty dollars for the bike. He even brought the price down to fifteen dollars and they still wouldn't buy it off him. So I asked my uncle " So what happened, you only got ten dollars for the bike?". He replied " No I got a half chicken with pork fried rice and an egg roll". LOL one of the best meals I had ever shared.

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Saturday, December 15, 2007

Horse and Buggy

It was just another day in Hell's Kitchen. Hookers on the corner and junkies doing the junkie shuffle (a swaying of the arms). My uncle Jeff and friend Larry were just hanging out on 10th Avenue bullshitting. A horse and buggy starts to ride past them when all of a sudden the horse freaks out and doesn't want to move. The driver begins to beat the horse with his whip. Welllllllll I have to tell you one thing about some of us guys on the Westside, we don't go hurting animals. I wouldn't piss in some strangers mouth if his teeth were on fire but for an animal I would do just about anything. Larry and Jeff see this and walk over to the guy. Larry says "oh, how about I take that whip off you and beat the shit out of ya". The driver tells him to go fuck himself. I am sure you can see where this is going. Larry and Jeff pull this guy from the buggy and start stomping and kicking this guy half to death. They spot a cop car out of their eye and try to quickly walk away like nothing happened. The cop pulls up and says "what do you call this". Jeff and Larry describe what happened. The cop shacks his head and tells them "go home and if I catch either one of you on the street for the rest of the day, your going downtown". Well Larry and Jeff were like the invisible man for the rest of the day.

Monday, December 10, 2007

NEW MYSPACE PAGE!!!

Hi all, just put up a myspace page and want you all to stop by and leave a comment. Add me as your friend and let me know what you think about this blog. Check it out by clicking Myspace Page on your right. Thanks
Find me on MySpace and be my friend!

Win Underworld Evolution Blu-Ray DVD




Enter for a chance to win Underworld Evolutions Blu-Ray Dvd. All you have to do is leave us a present under our tree and come up with the most creative Christmas greeting in the message box. You can enter as many times as you like. We will announce the winner on 12-23-07. Please check back with us then to find out if you are the winner. Happy holidays to all :)
****Come on people leave a present****

Wrong neighborhood

A woman walks into Peelies bar with a Great Dane. Ive mentioned in the past that Peelies had nothing but the worst sort of people and they all had guns. This woman obviously wasn't from this part of town. She walks in with this monster looking to use the pay phone. It's obvious from the size of this beast that she had no control over him. She finds the pay phone at the end of the bar. The Great Dane is barking so loud it sounds like a truck horn. The woman is yapping away on the phone and the dog starts barking at a guy at the end of the bar. He turns towards the women and tells her "Lady get that fucking dog away from me". She totally ignores him and keeps talking on the phone. He says "Lady im being nice, get that fucking dog out of here". Again it falls on def ears. Suddenly a 45 pistol comes out of his pocket. Shots are heard and everyone runs out of the bar. The woman comes walking out in shock with nothing but the leash. The guy that shot the dog blew its head clear off it's body. Not very funny to me since I like animals but that's what it was like in the real Hell's Kitchen.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Another day at Thruway

One day my father and a couple of the guys are looking to have some fun. It's snowing outside and its about 25 degrees but it feels like 15 degrees with the wind chill. They take a customers car from the garage and two gallons of water. They start driving around the neighborhood and spot a local drunk laying in a doorway. They get out of the car and hit this poor bastard with the water. The guy instantly freaks out from the cold water. My father and friends take off in the car laughing. No more then twenty minutes later the ice guy (I like to call him) comes stumbling into the garage half frozen to death. He literally had icicles hanging from his hair and beard. The guys at the garage feel so bad they decide to help him (LOL yeah right). They handcuff him and throw him into a parked car with the heat turned all the way up. Not to bad right? Well they come back down an hour later and see him sweating. My father says "ohhhh your hot? We can fix that". He turns on the air conditioning and leaves him in there for another hour. They did this to the guy for six hours straight. Oh happy times.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Everything but the kitchen sink.......nope that too

My uncles and their friends destroyed every hotel room they ever stayed in. Hotel managers knew them so well that they made them put down an extra $500 for damages. My uncle Roger and a couple guys threw every piece of furniture out the window one night. They threw the lamps, chairs, tv, bed, dresser, etc. They were doing eight balls and drinking all night. Towards the end of the night my uncle said "well we have thrown everything out but the bathroom sink". So one of them rips the bathroom sink out of the wall and throws it out the window. Their room had been up on the 11th floor mind you.

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Monday, December 3, 2007

5 gallons worth

My father loves drop 5 gallons of water on anybody. Most of his targets are drunks and bums. My uncles are always getting loaded and sleeping in the basement. My father's cousin will drive all the way from Brooklyn just to hit them with water.

My uncle Ron one day spots a drunk sleeping against the wall of our building. Ron goes to the pay phone and lets my father know that there's a target for 5 gallons. My father will fill up a garbage can or two buckets and head up to the roof. My other uncle Jeff will come up and act as co-pilot and direct my father where to drop the water. The signal is given by Jeff and my father dumps over the water. When you dump 5 gallons of water it kind of looks like the Niagra Falls. The water literally washes this guy right into the gutter. The guy gets up out of the street and starts arguing with a air conditioner thinking it hit him with the water LOL.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Just some holiday fun for all

dick in a box

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Go for the extra point!!!

Even in a neighborhood as exciting as Hell's Kitchen, the boys would get bored once in a while. One day about ten guys were hanging outside my uncles house. Of course everyone is drinking. This guy Eddie Griff came up with the idea to play football. My uncle goes upstairs and grabs the ball. My uncle brings down the ball and Eddie starts tearing his clothes off. Everyone at the same exact time said "what the fuck are you doing". Eddie yells out "come on balls naked football". So there goes ten guys running down the street balls naked looking to play football. They found a spot on 10th avenue right in front of the Hess gas station that had some grass. The NFL couldn't have gotten more publicity then this game did. Traffic on the avenue is at a halt and people are standing around either in amazement or laughing their ass off. LOL oh forgot to tell you that this was no two hand touch game. TACKLE BABY!!!!